Car Chase Terror

Simon here.

Today was quite frightening. As the title suggests, I had a near death experience. Here's the long version:

I'm hoping for a peaceful drive home from work. Heading back from Enfield Library I'm cruising along Portrush Road with Death Cab For Cutie playing from the speakers. So distracted by the notes of Ben Gibbard I fail to notice that a large truck has pulled over onto the side of the road, causing traffic to merge into the right lane -- my lane. I only notice this when the car to my side almost bumps into me. I freak out and speed forward. He pulls in behind and after getting past the truck speeds up next to me in the left lane. "You fucking idiot! Fuck you!" he yells. Of course, Death Cab is playing over the top of his voice so I barely hear him. I do happen to notice he has long hair, and is wearing an orange jacket -- a road worker. Great, the lower class ...

As we continue along the road he speeds up to me and dishes out some more harsh abuse. A few seconds later, he gets stuck behind some cars. Suddenly angered by this low-life I decide to give him the finger as I go past. Big mistake. The commodore quickly pulls out into my lane and the chase is on. As we approach the intersection of Portrush and Magill I quickly dive into the left lane, causing a truck to beep its horn angrily. The commodore keeps chase to my right. I can feel his dirty gaze upon my neck, the only thoughts running through his beer-drenched mind are "Kill the fucker."

Deciding to avoid catastrophe, I quickly turn left down a side street. Since the commodore is in the right lane I don't think he's stupid enough to cut across the left lane and keep chase. Alas, he does. Horns blare angrily in the seconds that follow. My heart is racing by this stage. I'm being tail-gated by a drop-out down a narrow side-street. Thinking quickly, I fumble for my cell phone and dial 000. The operator picks up and I ask to speak to the police. Noticing I have my phone to my ear, the commodore turns right and disappers from my tail. I breathe a sigh of relief and hang up the phone, as the sweat runs down my body in rivulets.

Had I decided to pull over, I'd have been bashed to death or lost all my teeth. Had I decided to continue along Portrush Road I would've crashed. Was I in the wrong? Should my finger have stayed down? Maybe. I think it was just the heat of the moment.

But today, at 2.55pm on 18/11/2008, Simon Welford escaped death at the hands of a madman.

P.S. Here is a picture of a baby blowfish.